Kansas City, Misery

Greetings, children.

I'm sad to report that I'm back in KC for a little while.

The house remains on the market.... there has been some interest, but mostly in telling us how nice it looks WITHOUT buying it.

I worked on the yard today, although it took significantly less time than I had budgeted because the lawn fairies had come over the weekend and mowed. Or maybe our incredible neighbor, Scot, did it... he's not copping to it, but the truth is that I stopped believing in lawn fairies YEARS ago.....

Highlights of today include:

- Accidentally setting fire to my mostly-dead lawn after carelessly flicking the ash of my gorgeous San Cristobal cigar (thanks, John! Delicious!)

- Spending ONE FULL HOUR at the Police Station waiting on my background check to come back. (Don't worry, it's for the Cayman work permit... I also have a requisite AIDS test to look forward to.... er, to which I'm looking forward.... uh, to which... Never mind, it makes me feel icky to dwell on any sentence that includes the phrase "MY AIDS TEST.")

- Watching the beautiful Monarch Butterflies cruise through our neighborhood on their exodus to Mexico for the winter. Who knew E. 61st Terrace was on the way?

Anyway, I'll warn you that the blog will descend for the next few weeks back into "Crap Zach is Doing While NOT IN CAYMAN."

I'm sorry in advance....

The Greatest

AHHHHHhhhhhh..... Ramen.

We've all been there.... so don't wrinkle up your nose. Ramen was there for us in college when we didn't have any money and after college when we didn't have any money or when we just wanted something hot that could be purchased with whatever you find in the cushions of your couch....

Top Ramen.

My exposure to Ramen was different, and I'll share it with you now....

Actually, that sounds pompous... read below how I started eating Ramen, if it's different, great. If you came to love Ramen the same way I did, then my experience was NOT different, and we can chat about it some time... possibly over some Ramen.

Anyway, my Dad had a college suite-mate named Steve Pu. There were three "Steves" in that suite, so they called one another by their last names. My Dad was "Griffith," Steve Pu was "Pu," and whatever that other Steve's last name was... that's what they called him. Alright.

Pu's family was Chinese, and exposed Griffith, I mean DAD, to all sorts of new stuff he had never experienced growing up on a farm in Eastern Missouri. I don't mean just to obscure asian customs... I mean things like BROCCOLI... Huge culture shock, right?

Being in college and broke (the flashpoint for so many of our Ramen adventures), Pu taught my Dad about a type of Ramen-like noodle-soup packet called "Ichiban," which is Japanese for "The Greatest." Seriously... look it up.



Ichiban Noodles were special... I remember when I was little, in North Carolina, eating what Dad called "Ichiban Noodles" whenever Mom was out of town, or we got home late or something... Dad would make the noodles and tell us about his college days.

I loved Ichiban Noodles almost as I loved Pork Chops and Pie, which is REALLY saying something... especially in North Carolina.

We never had more than a couple packets of Ichiban Noodles (or "RAY-MEN" if you're in either of the Carolinas) in the cupboard, and I naturally assumed it was because they were an expensive delicacy only to be eaten on very, very special occasions.

Fast forward to 1996, my first year of college, and the first time I ever shopped for myself.



My freshman roommate, David Saxton, and I had gone to the Sunfresh in Westport (which, by the way, still scares me in broad daylight, so you can imagine how it felt to an 18 year old that's new in the city....) We were pushing our cart around, deciding what we'd get to supplement the horrible cafeteria food.

I decided it was a time for celebration. I was at college, "grown up," and wanted to celebrate my independence by buying myself something really special. (I was buying it with Dad's checkbook, but I still felt pretty independent.)

I knew what I wanted. Ichiban. The Greatest.

I started looking, first by the deli where they keep all of the imported and specialty foods. No luck. Then I looked on the end-caps, where the big displays advertised the most exciting stuff.... Still no luck.... David asked me what I was looking for, and so I told him.

He went "Yeah, Ramen. Right there..." and pointed to the bottom shelf, right next to the floor.

I smirked, looking down just to play along, preparing a soliloquy on how special Ichiban noodles are and how they'd NEVER be on the bottom sssshhhh......

There they were. Top Ramen. Thirteen cents a pack.

My entire childhood was a lie.

The room started to spin... I began coughing wildly... White flashes in front of my eyes.... I held on to my cart, but I was going down..... I collapsed with a sob, and then everything went dark.

David had to lift me into the cart, and I whimpered as he pushed me through the store to his car.



A few days later, when I came out from under my bed, I went back to Sunfresh and bought some Ramen. I made it and thought back all of the memories...

I decided I would love Ramen no matter what. Thirteen cents, three cents, no matter... to me they would always be "Ichiban." The Greatest.

I became a vegetarian in 1999, and so I had to give up the Chicken Flavored Ramen I'd grown up eating.



During his own stint as a vegetarian, my great friend, Bryan Hughes discovered that the "Oriental Flavor" was actually vegetarian.

On the weekend that he passed along this information I ate no less than two dozen packages of "Oriental" Ramen. I was back in.

I'd love to hear Your Top Ramen stories. Feel free to post them in the "comment" section of this blog.

I'm praying that someone else actually has a Ramen story, so I'll feel slightly less psychotic for going on like this....




Anyway, here's my favorite way to have Top Ramen:

Prepare your favorite Ramen Flavor according to the directions on the package.

Strain noodles from the vile "soup."

Top noodles with any or all of the following:
- thinly-sliced cabbage
- grated carrots
- julienne-cut celery or bell pepper
- baked tofu
- dry-roasted peanuts
- bean sprouts
- fresh cilantro
- one clove of minced garlic
- one scallion (sliced on the bias)
- a shot of soy sauce & a squirt of Sriracha (or your favorite hot sauce)

Serve hot and enjoy while thinking back to the times when everything was "Ichiban."

Polly wanna mango?

Kristi has been getting me up early every day to go out and walk while she runs....

She claims it's something we "can do together," but about ten seconds after I lock the door, the "together" part is over. In a flash she's down the road to the beach while I'm still fiddling with my iPod.

I see her about 45 minutes later... she's sweaty and tells me about seeing marvelous things like hummingbirds or an Old Rasta fishing with a handline... I'm sweatiER, and tell her about how I got chased by a dog or fell down in front of the kids waiting for the bus, and that I will never, EVER get up a go walking again. Ever. No.

But the next morning I do get up, usually because I'm too tired to remember the lack of trees to climb when stray dogs are bearing down on you by the Oceanside Plantation Apartments.

I GUESS I'm happy that I wake up most mornings, but none have given the intese sense of satisfaction and luck I felt today.

Kristi circled back a little early so that we could walk together the rest of the way home... (I know, I know, I mention this only after I trash talk her intentions about getting me up..)

We heard some birds fussing in a tree, which is usual, but the way these birds were fussing was different... We searched the upper branches, finally catching a glimpse of two, yes TWO CAYMAN PARROTS!!!!!

Cayman Parrots are incredibly rare, and are almost NEVER seen in the wild and are NEVER EVER seen in West Bay. I didn't have my camera with me, but found some pics of the birds online. Here's some Cayman Parrot info:


About 2,000 parrots inhabit Grand Cayman, while the quieter, smaller Cayman Brac Parrot maintains a stable population of about 400. Nesting in tree holes in old-growth forests, the colourful parrots depend on undisturbed woodlands and black mangrove forests for survival.

The Cayman Islands parrots are two sub-species of the Cuban Parrot (Amazona Leucocephala).

Cayman's parrots have iridescent green feathers with darker edges over the body, a white eye ring, red cheeks, black ear patches and brilliant blue wing feathers which are only obvious when the bird is in flight. The tail has blue outer edges, with some red and yellowish-green underneath.

The Grand Cayman Parrot (Amazona leucocephala caymanensis) also has a pink flush to its whitish forehead.


The Cayman Brac Parrot (Amazona leucocephala hesterna) is slightly smaller, with more black trim on its green feathers. The crown is pure white, and there is a large maroon area on the abdomen. It is now found only on Cayman Brac. Although it used to inhabit Little Cayman, it was apparently wiped out from there by the 1932 hurricane.

Historically parrots were common family pets. Today, however, it is illegal to take a parrot from the wild and keep it as a pet.

Illegal, yes, but you can go to the Humane Society and legally adopt the parrots that have been confiscated from people who have them as pets, because having them as pets is illegal.... Yeah, I know.

Anyway, I have been chased by dogs in Kansas City, but have never glanced up to see parrots fussing in a tree....

I care too much about the 4 or 5 people that may actually read this to make a "We're not in Kansas (City) anymore..." joke.

Tomorrow is the Ramen Post. Get Ready.....

***Out of the tremendous respect I have for Mr. Moriyama, I'll go ahead and admit that the evil looking dog above is actually a famous photo from the Museum of Modern Art, and not one of the actual dogs that waits for me to plod down North West Point Road each morning...***

That's just beautiful.... Uh... What is it?

First off: I'm sorry it's been so long since I wrote something.

Or, you're welcome, rather.... either way.

After 19 posts per day on Hurricane Dean for a stretch, I decided to give you some time off from my mildly-amusing anecdotes. Today I'm back with some new pics, and a different version of the same story I tell every post... "We bought something and ate it. Yum."

We got up early today and hit the Saturday Farmer's Market in Lower Valley, near Bodden Town. We've been once before, and wanted to see how the farmers fared through the storm.



Most of the islands farms are on the North Side and on East End, the two areas hardest hit by Dean. We were worried that no one would show up, but were happily surprised to find the market bustling.

We did confirm that the storm did knock down any fruit that hadn't been picked, bringing the premature end to mango season we dreaded so.... The farmers filled their garages and storage areas with fruit, but when that's gone - it's gone. No more mangoes this season.

If the posts start to get darker, or somehow even MORE boring (I know, impossible) you'll know why...



We checked in with Zelma-Lee from Willie's, the fruit stand in Red Bay that we mention every....single.....post, then took a spin around the market. We saw huge tables of bananas, long poles of sugar cane, crates of strange fruits and vegetables, and a veritable constellation of different mangoes...

There are booths like "Mr. Andre's Bananas," "Cayman's Curative Salts," and (winner of Best Name Award) "Mr. Sparky's Amazing Farm...."

The farmers are so friendly and patient as we asked what things were and how to eat them.... I had fun imagining what I would say to a couple of overly-inquisitive Americans:

"If it's not a Pizza Hut topping, I guess Americans don't recognize it...."

or

"Oh, no, you wouldn't like these... they're not covered in Nacho Cheez...."

or

"Nope, sorry... no 'hot-fudge-flavored' mangoes today, sir...."

***Note - Kristi is insisting that I mention that my parents are lovely people, and it is NOT their fault that I'm such a nasty guy.***


Anyway, they were nice, I'm not, let's keep moving.



We bought callaloo (a spinach-like plant that eaten wilted, like greens in the south), a couple of coconut tarts, some seasoning peppers (like small Scoth Bonnets used for adding spice to recipes), and a bitter melon.

The picture at the top of the page is the bitter melon. It is very, very bitter, which makes up for the fact that it is not anything like a melon. One evens out the other... It's a lot like eggplant, and is common in asian cooking (or so the Filipino Farmer said... I think he may have just found them growing by the side of the road....)

I had to run Kristi to work, so we couldn't stay long at the market. It is a great time, and I'm excited to make visiting it a part of our weekly routine once I'm here permanently...


Kristi has been working a lot... I've been doing the Susie-Homemaker stuff (or DJ Funky-Fresh Susie Homemaker, as I demand to be called before I'll fold ANYTHING!!!!) and during my time alone I've re-kindled an old love affair...

RAMEN NOODLES!!!!!!

I'll have a whole ramen post for you, soon.... like it or not.

TA!

MSNBC gets in on the act, too....

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20359805/

Nice Work if you can get it....

Fox News put up some of my Hurricane Dean pics today.

Here's the link:

http://www.foxnews.com/photoessay/0,4644,2240,00.html

In exchange for the photos, Rupert Murdoch has agreed to stop lying to the American people, to stop distorting every news story to the point of Conservative hogwash, and to stop conspiring with the inhuman totalitarian regime in Communist China to continue to oppress their citizens with state-produced propoganda.

I wanted his head on a pike, but I already sent the videos of the Hurricane to CNN.

OOPS!!! I'm new to this.... Maybe next Hurricane.

Z

This morning, I woke up in a Curfew....

Hey There,

The Curfew has been lifted, so we took a little drive around West Bay to see the aftermath.




Not much to report, actually... Some shingles here and there, and the fence is down at the Turtle Farm. (HA!)




The Sea Swell is still pretty crazy. Here's a little clip of it ravaging the poor, newly-repaired pier at the West Bay Public Beach.



It had big gaps that were just repaired this month... oh well.



We're so thankful that the little island got out of this unscathed. There were a few districts that got mashed up, but nothing like Jamaica and the coming devastation in the Yucatain, we fear.

Keep the residents of Belize, Honduras, Mexico, and the surrounding islands in your prayers as the recently-labeled Cat 5 heads their way...

The First Time I Ran in like 9 Years...

Well, I was trying to get some video footage of the rock crab exodus when a HUGE wave came in and.....

"Swell" like a flood, not like Wally Cleaver says...

The huge Sea Swell has rolled into West Bay. We heard report that East End, Bodden Town, Savannah, and other Eastern territories had gotten all mashed up when the swell rolled in, but we're just now feeling it on this side.


Huge waves, easily 10-12 feet are rolling over what is normally dry, iron shore. Thousands of tiny rock crabs are climbing the shore and in the vegetation across from where they usually scavenge.

There shouldn't be any flooding into the neighborhood. We're on a high foundation, either way.

Keep checking back, I'm getting great pics and video....

He's a Music Man, He's a what? He's a what?

Playing the kalimba to help the storm on it's way.....

...with apologies to both my mother and Scot Phillips...

But I just couldn't stay inside with all of this cool stuff happening outside....



This is the iron shore across the street from us...



This is a Poinciana Tree that didn't fare as well....




Up the street...




Down the street....


I'll have some vids posted soon... and again, I'm sorry for going outside even though "I Promised" not to...

Live and Direct from the Storm....

I don't want to Triple Dog Dare mother nature with this next statement, but....

Things here are actually alright.

It's loud and ugly outside, but we still have power and A/C.

Every once in a while the wind will die down, and the roosters start going nuts. Crowing "Is that all ya got?" is keeping a smile on our faces, if nothing else....

Anyway, no telling what will happen, but for now, we're safe, dry, and in good spirits.

More later..... Ta!

Soggy Sabbatical

Well, this is going to be it for a little while...

The storm is going to be here pretty much all day tomorrow. I hope to be back online Tuesday, but we'll see... Food, repairs, etc will probably occupy the bulk of our time, but I'll get the news out just as soon as possible.

I'll be calling my parents just as soon as I have cell service. The numbers are below if you'd like to check in.

Alright, all our love to all who read.... Wish us luck! Say a prayer for the Caribbean.

Z and K

p.s. Had to add some photos of what we've got working up in this piece.....

Water for refilling the back of the toilet, washing, etc....


Outdoor supply of water for same. "Sewage Trough?????" Are they nuts??????


This may not end up doing a danged thing, but it made me feel better for some reason....

Alright, this time I mean it... We love you and will be in touch!!!

Say a Prayer for the Caribbean

Well, everything we can think to do is done.

The air mattress is blown up in the concrete block walk in closet. The supplies are ready. The laundry's done. The car is moved. The rum is someplace where Kristi can't find it and pour it out.... yep, that's about it.

The Water Authority is turning off water to the entire island at 8pm. They obviously can't schedule its reconnection, so at the advice of Livingston and Ola Powrey, our ever-vigilant friends (and landlords,) we filled a 60 gallon plastic drum with water outside to refill the back of the toilet.

The hurricane websites give directions on how to make your own chemical toilet, or how to line your bathtub with saranwrap to make a "sewage trough."

NO.

We took a drive to see if, by some miracle, the falafel place we like was still open.... I know, I know... These damned cravings... It was boarded up, but we did get to snap a few pics of how different places are getting secured.



This is the port at Hog Sty Bay (which, by the way, is where the cruise ships unload, the irony of which is not lost on us...) It's usually full of ships and tugboats, but today nothing. Not even waves. It's as if there should be an expression for this... something like "Calm before the Storm" or something..... Hmmm.....

Alright. We're about to take or last scheduled showers for the next while, and get hunkered down for whatever's coming our way.

The models show the storm spinning ever more to the south, which continues to encourage us. We'll probably post once more before the blackout, so keep checking back for whatever lame jokes I can think of between now and then....

Southbound Hound

Dean is pulling more and more South, which is better and better for the Cayman Islands.

Flash flooding and mudslides have taken 5 lives in the Lesser Antilles. Cayman is expecting far less rain than they recieved, and we have no mountains....

We just went downtown to try and sneak into a parking garage to protect the likkle cyaar, but they have uniormed guards blocking all of the parking structures.

At first I was little upset by this, but then though "If illegal parking is their primary concern at this point, we're probably doing alright..." They'd be sandbagging their own homes if it was going to be bad, not worrying about the eyesore our Toyota Corsa would cause in their parking garage....

So never fear... it appears as though we're going to miss the brutality of Hurricane Dean, as well as maintain the integrity of our parking structures here in the British West Indies....

Squall a Brewin'

The models now show the eye of the storm passing south uf us, instead of right over as was predeicted for the last two days.

This is huge... so much better. When a storm passes directly over a little island, the whirling winds batter you from one direction, and then reverse directions after the eye passes. Twice the destruction, twice the exposure, etc....

It looks as though we're going to catch the side of Ol' Dean, but not much more for now....

We'll keep you posted....

About the Hurricane....

Dean's on his way, and we are definitely staying put.

We're taking all the necessary precautions, we have 12 gallons of water, ice, first aid, a full tank of gas in the car, duct tape, flashlights with extra batteries, canned food, three jars of organic peanut butter, coconut water, and 9 mangoes.

We got everything prepped around the perimeter, as well....

Making this:




Look like this:




..and this:




Look like this:






We're still not sure where we're sleeping. Our house is very secure, and we've gotten about 15 other offers from friends around the island. The hurricane shutters we have are the same ones that protect the bank windows downtown, so we have a lot of faith in our structure.

There's a well-built support system here of folks who've been through this before and look after those who haven't. There's a huge ex-pat population, and they're really there for each other in times like these.

The crews have been out taking down palm fronds, knocking down all of the coconuts, taking off long limbs and loose branches from trees that might come down.... Everything is boarded up and sandbagged... No one is taking any chances after the experience with Hurricane Ivan a few years back.

Neither of us are taking this lightly, but we honestly feel as though we'll be safe.

We've got our phones charged, and people say they'll still work after the storm.

If you need them, here are the numbers:
Zach - 345.926.2645
and
Kristi - 345.916.4515

I'll post again just as soon as possible. I'm not sure what the electrical situation will be after the storm. You'll get a full report with extensive pics just as soon as I can throw it up here....

Until then..... We love you guys.

British West Indenial

Hurricane Dean is headed for us, but we spent yeterday at least pretending that was not the case.

There are numerous factors that make Dean significantly less worrisome than the destructive Ivan, but I won't bore you with them.... yet.

Instead, I'll talk about our mervelous day yesterday, and keep pretending that there's nothing troublesome on the horizon.


I picked Kristi up at work early, and we headed out to Willie's, the fruit stand that we love.

Mango season can stretch until mid-September, but I was worried that the storm would ravage the mango trees and end the harvest prematurely. Just in case, we wanted to stock up on al of our favorites before the bad weather hit.



We ended up hanging out for a half-hour, talking with Zelma Lee and young master Kieran about the storm and what they, too felt was the end of mango season.

Zelma Lee made Kristi and incredibly delicious fruit shake to sooth her sore throat. It had frozen mango, frozen papaya, milk powder, and her Secret Concoction of herbs and honey. Kristi felt better almost instantly, and we can't thank Zelma Lee enough for her generosity.



Kieran showed us all types of local fruit, including this Sour Sop.

Kieran's favorite mango is the Carrie mango, which is our favorite as well. Zelma Lee showed us a cutting technique for removing the large stone in the center of the mango, leaving a cavity that can be filled with whipped cream (or Soy Ice Cream) and then scooped out with a spoon, the peel making a very nice dessert-cup.

She also gave us some new mangoes to try:




The Sprirt of '76 Mango




The East Indian Mango, the undisputed favorite in Jamaica




..and the diminutive No. 11 Mango.

We're thankful for her kindness and can't wait to try them... I'll have a full report for you once we eat them, and once electricity is restored after the storm... Sorry, we weren't going to talk about that, right?

I'll have an official Hurricane Preperation Post for you this evening. Rest assured that we would not be staying if we felt it was too dangerous. All of our friends and neighbors aren't worried, and all point to our house as the most secure in the neighborhood.

The oft-mentioned Livingstone Powrey built our place with his own two hands, laying every block with care. Ivan didn't do a thing to it, so we have faith that Dean will not, either.

Alright, we're off to the Saturday Farmer's Market to grab up the last of the fresh produce, and you'll hear more later today.

Batten Down the Hatches....

Meaning

Prepare for trouble.

Origin

Climate change is providing plenty of opportunity to reinforce our property against bad weather. The securing of property, especially the covering with protective sheeting, is called 'battening down'. That's not how the phrase originated, although it's not far away in terms of meaning. It has a nautical origin and 'battening down' was done on ships when bad weather was expected.

The earliest known citation is from John Badcock, in Domestic Amusements, 1823 (referring to a sea voyage):

"The severity of the climate having compelled them to batten down and caulk their abiding place."

A batten is a strip of wood. Caulking is the filling of gaps with oakum of similar, to prevent leaking. That's 'battening down' in a general sense. The first citation of the explicit use of the phrase 'batten down the hatches' is from the 1883 Chambers Journal:

"Batten down the hatches - quick, men."

See also - Nautical Phrases.



Hurricane Dean is projected to hit the Cayman Islands late this weekend.

As you can see, we're trying to remain strong in the face of adversity.

We haven't decided whether or not to remain on island during the storm, but will keep you posted as to our plans and condition.

STRENGF!!!!!