Jeezis, I'm sick of the Pirates.

Here are the REAL Pirates Week 2007 Kickoff Party Fireworks from Hog Sty Bay in Georgetown.

Okay, first off - blogging is kind of like journalism, right? Journalism, I hear, is big on "getting the facts straight."

I must then faithfully report that the fireworks that we saw in the distance the other evening (vid below) were NOT for the Pirates Week Kickoff Party. Those were for Diwali, the Hindu Festival of Lights marking the birth of some Goddess that Destroyed some Evil King a zillion years ago or something.

This would help explain why they were way off in the distance instead of AT THE KICKOFF PARTY.

Anyway, my apologies to any Hindus that may accidentally stumble across this blog. If you knew full well what those fireworks were for and feel slighted, I am very sorry.

Diwali didn't make the cut on my planner calender for some reason. I can promise, though, that I will not mis-label the fireworks displays for Boxing Day, Columbus Day, or National Take Your Daughter To Work Day. All of those are in there.

Anyway, moving right along - these Pirates are driving me bananas. They're everywhere, with their "Arrrg's" and their "Shivers," "Avasts," and "Lubbers." I've had it. I've been a good sport so far, but aren't we a bit old for a whole week of this?

There are no local pirates. They're all (in my experience) American, Middle-Aged, and Drunk.

My apologies again to any Hindu Pirates with whom I've not had contact.

They've got elaborate costumes, and mill about the crowds firing blanks and swinging dull cutlasses. It's funny for about 15 minutes, then you want to say "Listen, Dude, you've got a 'Omaha Music Boosters' t-shirt showing from under your coat. Go sit on the beach or scuba dive or something. Stop wasting your vacation sweating on me."

I know it's all in good fun, but "Fun" for me stopped around the second hour of standing in the sun when someone spilled some red drink all over my feet and legs. Fun Over.

Oh yeah, and getting bumped by a Pirate last night, losing my balance, dropping my cornbread, and FALLING ONTO A BABY was not fun.

I looked back just in time to grab the stroller handle and hover menacingly over the baby instead of actually crushing it, but it was close. One of my legs was in the air off and everyone was screaming in that embarrassing "He's killing that baby" kind of way.

Nothing like nearly killing a little Jamaican baby to take the "Funny" out of the next "Walk the Plank" Joke.

Anyway, that's it for me and Pirates. Tomorrow is a Beach Day, and if see a pirate I will feed them sand. HARD!!!!

The parade was actually really fun, sticky legs notwithstanding. There actually was one marching band:



There were also several Steel Pan Groups (most of which were from schools. I think Steel Pan Ensembles are what Cayman Schools do instead of Symphonic Bands.)



..and some very colorful parade participants. Here's some giant parrot-man:



...and here is Sparky, the Cayman Utility Company Turtle:



I must admit, I almost went after Sparky with a broken bottle, since CUC rapes us every month on our power bill and then apparently uses the money to buy parade floats and sound systems and giant turtle costumes.

There's only one power company... I can't figure out why they feel like they need to advertise.

Maybe they're scared that we might hook this handsome fella's stationary bike up to a generator and power our whole block!



That's Graham, one of Kristi's friends and training partners. He's been a Barrister for 25 years and said that Cayman sees more that it's fair share of "Crushed Baby/Dropped Cornbread" suits. They're never pretty.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll calm down tomorrow and feel bad for talking so crazy about Pirates tonight. Maybe some Pirate Wench will save me from drowning with her giant feather boa....

But until that point, this Dog shall remain Salty.

Check back shortly for some video clips of what we saw in the parade.

Lates!